feeling pitiful

either people are extremely kind or they feel aweful sorry for me.

Today, i ventured to wal mart. It's a tuesday. It's also the last day to redeem Maggie's WIC vouchers. It was now or never. I figured since it is, indeed, a tuesday that we could be in and out fairly quickly. No such thing.

Maggie woke up around 6 this morning. which is sleeping in for her. WE got up and ready to goto our beloved breastfeeding class. which isn't really a class, it's more like a gaggle of giggling women and children all huddled in a room swapping stories about milk, poop, and the things our kids like to eat that isn't food. I really enjoy the friendship and Maggie REALLY enjoys the older kids. (Miss Sarah made a comment about that which deserves it's own post entirely.... later.)

So she was thoroughly worn out from the fun and playing when we excused ourselves from the party around 11:30. It just so happened that after our treck through the frozen parking lot, i checked her vouchers. just to see. and as Maggie fell into a wonderful slumber in her car seat, i nearly cried when i realized that Today Was It for January's WIC.
sigh.

So to wal mart. This month has also been our first month where we were getting the "Child" vouchers as opposed to the "nursing mother" vouchers. I had no idea that the items available for each was different. Untill i was standing in the middle of a packed isle at Wal Mart, that is.
and Wal Mart was PACKED. But Maggie was asleep, so we might make it, i lied to myself.


finding each and every item was a fight. i scurried up and down isles like a little lost mouse. I seriously felt like i was acting as if i hadn't shopped at this verry store since it was opened. Like i hadn't worked at this store placing items on the shelves. I just couldn't seem to get it together.

I apologized more in wal mart than i had the entirety of 2009, i think. THen, after i had finally tracked down everything on the vouchers, we went to stand in the checkout lanes. EVERY lane had atleast 5 people in line. waiting. I have no idea why the whole of cullman county needed to go shopping on a tuesday around 1pm. no idea. So we're headed to the lanes and Maggie wakes up. Immediently she'scrying and fighting to get out of the carseat. I just pick a lane (with a kind looking cashier, some of them hate the WIC vouchers) and haul Maggie out of the carseat and down to the floor to play and stretch. She wants to push the buggie. Which any other day would be fine but we're waiting in line, so i can't let her run people over, so i holdthe buggie still. She get so angry. SO ANGRY. She throws herself onto the floor and screams like it's the end of the world. Kicking and screaming just doesn't cover it with this tantrum. I tried to calm her and offer her my hand so she could stand up and she, no lie, rolls away from me onto her belly and continues screaming and kicking and flailing. So i just stood up and tried not to feel the holes being stared into me while my year old daughter had herself a right proper tantrum on the floor of a crowded wal mart.

When she was finally finished (and i let het just lay there and scream for a good long while longer than i even felt comfortable with) i offered my hand to her again and she took it and stood up then asked to be picked up. Ihugged her and told her i love her and that we don't need those fits.
By this time, we had moved up to third in line. The lady infront of me turned around and i was afraid she would say something about Maggie's fit but instead she offered, GodBlessHer, to let me and Maggie go ahead of her. I felt a flood of thanks to this wonderful old woman, and i thanked God for the kindness he allows people to have. I had to explain to her though, that it may look like i don't have much in my cart, but i'm using WIC vouchers and they take alot longer to go through than regular checkout. She offered again anayway but i looked at Maggie and she seemed content again so i declined. The offer alone was enough to lift my spirits.

So we eventually got checked out (minus the bread and juice which i had misread the vouchers but no big deal, i wasn't about to go back and find replacement stuff) and headed to subway. I knew miss maggie wasn't going to make it long without eating. After going through the line there the guy at checkout was asking about my order, and maggie points to the cookies. He says "Cookie?" and then just takes one out and hands it to her. lol. I just kinda stared at him stupidly for a moment then asked "She can have it for real?" haha.
Mama needed a nap by this time. But we had our food and a free cookie and Maggie and i ate them both!

An offer to cut in line, and a free cookie, totally patched up my dithering spirits after a horrible day. Kindness is Priceless!